This is a common problem with people that tend to get into ‘flings’ that do not last longer than a couple of months. You become obsessed, you get tunnel vision, all that matters is them, you don’t care what anybody thinks of you, this is the best you have felt and nothing is going to go wrong. This is infatuation. This is unstable.

It stems from naivety and the way you become less naive is to become more experienced in general but for some people, they tend to not take reality for what it really is, every time they find someone new. There could be many reasons as to why some people are like this but I think one of the main reasons is that we are raised on this ‘fairy tale’ ideology of reality. You think that this new person will be your happy ending, the one… why? Because they were better than the last one. You need to come to terms with reality and understand that it is not a fairy tale. Life comes with it’s highs and lows and that is something you need to accept. Looking back, it seems silly to have based your understanding of reality on some cartoons you watched as a child…

Infatuation tends to usually be what people experience in their very first proper relationship. This first relationship also happens to be quite eventful in their memories because it gave them the strongest emotional roller-coaster. You were on cloud nine with butterflies in your stomach constantly (this is not what a healthy relationship is supposed to feel like) and then the next minute, you are in emotional agony. The pain from that break up will be one of the worst you will have to deal with.  You could take months to recover from that blow. So think about how traumatising it will be for you if you do not handle your naivety… It will be a super painful break up after a super painful break up. Save yourself the damage and come to terms with the fact that even the best of relationships have their hard times.

When you are infatuated, your behaviour is usually a little out of control (extra lovey dovey etc) as your emotions are being stimulated quite intensely. In an ideal relationship, both parties should be in an emotionally relaxed state, as this is the most stable state, funnily enough this works with a lot of scientific concepts too. When something has ‘high energy’ it is unstable and doesn’t tend to stay in that state. The message to take from this post is to be wary about your state of mind with girls you meet, if you notice yourself becoming too centered around her, try to relax and take a step back.

Over and out x

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