Snakes in the lunchbox.

Most people are afraid of getting hurt. To protect ourselves we develop defense mechanisms in order to avoid getting hurt. It’s fair enough, but it makes communication quite annoying.

A similar situation to the one I am about to describe may have happened to you before… You are talking to a girl you have just met and her friend says ‘you two look cute together’. Immediately the girl  appears to grimace at the thought of being with yo disgusting ass and she even says ‘Errgh, gross, no way’. She doesn’t even say ‘no offence’ which means she really doesn’t give a cluck. Harsh isn’t it? A little too harsh, wouldn’t you say? I mean, you are a little creepy here and there but you are not that bad, surely?

What I am saying is that maybe, just maybe, her overreaction is coming from somewhere. This isn’t in every case, obviously, I mean, she could just be a completely insensitive poo-head. But, in a lot of circumstances, she could potentially fancy you. Yeah, you read that right. The way I tend to call their bluff is if their body language seems forced or more exaggerated then what seems necessary.

So… why the hell would it make sense for them to say that if they fancy you? They do not want to get hurt. Here is a tip to never crash your car… never drive your car. This is the defence mechanism. It is completely irrational but this is the conclusion that some people’s brains come to to defend them from emotional pain. If they showed they wouldn’t mind being with you, that could lead to a sort of relationship that could also end. Some people never get pets because they can’t deal with the loss in the future.

This is very hard to get around as if you were to say ‘I know you like me’ or anything of that sort, you are going to hit the cognitive dissonance wall. In fact, you may never get around this issue. The only tip I can give you is to be patient with her and spend time with her until she realises that it is safe to let you in. If this takes too long for you, I guess you have to move on.

Cheers boi x

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