Right, let’s get cracking on this female dog.
Let’s start with your ego first. It is to do with your sense of identity. And as I will tell you time and time again, any sort of sense of identity is silly, since what makes you an individual, is just a mixture of your values, beliefs, morals and opinions, etc. Your ego is your perceived view on how you think everyone else sees you as a person. Your ego is a sense of who you are in comparison to others, that places you in some sort of self-fulfilling hierarchy in society.
It is built upon how your environment treats you. Let’s say you are in your first environment and five people come up to you and tell you that you are a loser one after the other. This will make your brain go -“Oh, it appears that I happen to be a loser and this is a negative thing, thanks for letting me know Mr. Environment, cheers buddy”, and then you identify as a loser, and you think you are a loser, and then act as a loser, and you feel like a loser and that is your place in society.
The same happens if you were in another environment and people told you that you were cool – except this time it’s in the opposite direction.
Having an ego trip is not necessarily a good thing. It may feel good for you but it may cause you to be inconsiderate towards others and you may experience an ’emptiness’ in life. If you change environment, and go from unpopular to popular or popular to unpopular, your ego might shift in the other direction or your ego might crash.
When your ego crashes, you lose sense of who you are and you will have to start making an internal journey to find yourself. This journey is quite difficult, but is very rewarding. Not everyone’s ego crashes like this, some people achieve this ‘ego death’ from drugs like LSD. When you do start to make this journey of self-discovery, you see yourself for what you really are.
Think of yourself as a dark forest, and your ego as a bunch of rumours you’ve heard about the forest, such as there being witches and werewolves. This causes you to act in a certain way towards the forest. It is not until you explore the forest yourself, that you start to know the truth about the forest. You check the forest more and more and so if anybody tries to tell you anything about the forest, you know for yourself whether it is true or not. Getting to know the forest (yourself) well, is the way you build a strong self esteem.
See, an ego in any way has an Achilles’ heel and can be broken. Someone can tell you that there are witches, and someone can tell you there are no witches. But a strong self esteem is reinforced, only you can tell you who you are. As your self esteem gets stronger, your ego diminishes and you no longer depend on the environment to tell you who you are and what your role is because you are now a strong, independent, black woman.
Don’t let this make you feel better than others though, you are far ahead on your journey, but you are on the same journey as everyone else. The ego likes to grow back. Like an infection. You have to keep it at bay, and they more you do this, the easier it becomes, like fighting an addiction.
In order to prevent yourself from gaining an ego from environmental stimulus, it it similar to emotional control in which you try not to focus on how a certain stimulus gives you an identity/place in the pecking order of society. Ego is all in your head, you do not know how everyone views you. Everyone has a different view. Most people probably don’t actually care.
I do xoxox