This is a little bit of body language thrown into an FAQ so please don’t poo yourself.
You don’t want to be rapey, I feel you bro, I feel you. It is ‘problematic‘ that men are pasted with this rape label because now we are afraid of getting into trouble. Where dafuq do you draw the line with consent? Man, I can sense the feminist’s controversy radar bleeping, I better be careful with what I say!
Apparently no means no means no. When you are an expert in body language, this rule does not apply. When you are a struggling virgin, you probably should follow that rule otherwise the only action you are gonna be getting is from another male prisoner. Consent is weird though… it would kinda kill the moment to ask permission before you did stuff. So I see consent as this… If there are no signs of non consent, you are free to make a move. Please do not ‘check’ if it OK to do things, it completely ruins the vibe.
Look, firstly, stop being such a wuss and stop worrying about it. I will show you how to ‘escalate’ sexually in a completely non-rapey manner. Here we go…
Make your movements slowly. I don’t mean actually slow it down to the point where you are doing a Neo impression, I am just saying that you should not rush your movements and just slow it down a little bit. This is crucial. I know you want to blindly, rush in and get it over with like an injection but… that just gives off the impression that you are unsure of yourself. With a slower movement, you give the girl a massive window to reject you. “WWHHAAAT??? WHY THE F*** WOULD YOU GIVE HER THE OPPORTUNITY TO DO THAT? ARE YOU CRAZY?” A little. But, listen, if you give the girl an opportunity to turn you down and you show that it’s OK for her to do that, you are not trapping her in anyway. It also shows that you have options, because you don’t care about losing her. It shows you will not be needy. She will not be thinking about how well you are coming across logically. But basically, usually a girl will only reject you if you give her a reason to, and funnily enough, not giving her the option to reject you is going to make her want to reject you.
So, lets say you want to touch her *wink wink*, move your arm slowly towards her personal space, if she doesn’t react badly, keep going. If she starts to tense up or move away, then that means you stop and back off with the advancements… and if she really tenses up, apologise. Just trust me on this one. This shows you respect her wishes and this will make her feel more comfortable and safe around you. You can always rinse and repeat this, pretty much forever. You are not doing anything wrong by attempting to make a move. However, you are doing something wrong if you continue to make a move when she is tensing up. Especially if she is verbally saying no. That is rape. Rape is a very inconsiderate thing to do. That is down playing it. Rape is really really bad as it can make a girl feel completely vulnerable for the rest of her life, among other repercussions.
Right, If you are doing this in a public setting like a club, make sure you and her are as ‘private’ as possible. Don’t try to kiss her when you are right next to her friends. Girls don’t like being judged and girls tend to be judged a lot about who they have sexual encounters with. Also, you are reading this so you are likely to be butters. Just kidding, I love your imperfections. Right now, she doesn’t want to be seen being sexual with you (worst case scenario) and in order to combat this, just lead her (leading is also making a move so follow the steps above) away or around a corner to hide from the judging eye. This is important and is referred to in PUA terminology as ‘isolation’. They gave it a creepy name but that community didn’t get everything wrong.
Side Note: If you ever come across terms like Kino Escalation or NLP, ignore that poo like the plague.