I call bullsh*t. Hear me out before you get offended. That feeling of attraction. What is it? Does it really exist?
“It is definitely there, so you can’t say it doesn’t exist!”
Well, what if I break it down?
When someone of whom you have placed authority (usually an ‘9/10’, you pimp, you) has the ability to boost your ego by liking you. You now want to seek this validation to feel better about yourself.
You have a boner because you associate her looks with sex, possibly due to the fact that her makeup style is similar to that of a pornstar.
If your mates saw you with her, they would think you were one cool as truck mothertrucker. They wouldn’t by the way, just like how you wouldn’t think some guy with a hot girlfriend is cool. It just is what it is.
You have been told that this is the girl that you should have as a girlfriend. She is intelligent, good-looking and has memorised some funny jokes.
- OCD (aka ‘Physical Attraction’) –
It is very easy for us to spot ‘imperfections’. I am not saying that we cannot notice someone who has a face that is more symmetrical, or even or whatever. We obviously can all see that, unless you are blind.What I am saying is, we have chosen to place value on it. Why? Well, I guess it’s rare for someone to have very few imperfections. I cannot deny that it is ‘easy on the eye’. But as a society, we place value on all kinds of stuff, like diamonds and brand names. We fantasise about owning these things of value, but you will hear from many older or more mature people that the novelty wears off quite quickly.
Another way to put it is that back in the old days, the fatter the woman, the more ‘attractive’ she was. In Burma, the more rings that fit on a woman’s neck, the more ‘attractive’ she is. My point is that you can decide whether you want this ‘value’ or not.
If you see potential in someone, then you will want to make use of them even though that sounds kinda bad and psychopathic. So, for example, if a girl wants a rich guy to pay for her meals, she will see potential in a rich guy and therefore be ‘attracted’ to that guy.
So that sums up that ‘feeling’ you get of instant initial attraction. This is what some people to refer as that ‘spark’ or ‘whoa‘. Please do not feel too disappointed if girls do not feel this with you, as girls pretty much never did with me either. There is a different form of attraction that in my opinion, is a lot more meaningful… let’s call it long-term attraction.
Now let me tell you what I think long-term attraction is. It is something that not understood very well. It is something that does not take any energy or effort. The way I see it, is that there is only a force of repulsion, and if there is no repulsion present, then all that is left are the two things existing among one another. If you try to flip this idea, it doesn’t work – if you only had the force of attraction, and there was no attraction present, things would still exist next to each other.
In order to be ‘attracted’ to something, that thing must just not have enough ‘repulsion energy’ to stop you from being in its presence.
Instead of having to do or be specific things in order to make a woman become attracted to you. You should focus more on not doing things to put her off, then she will have less reasons to leave your company. This is very fundamental. I am not saying this is all that it takes, but it’s just a better way at looking at attraction. Flirting and banter and such all play their role, but they are more the seasoning of a main meal.
This is a huge point: A lot of girls are not looking for a superman as their ideal boyfriend. THEY JUST WANT A NORMAL GUY WHO DOESN’T HAVE ALL THE ANNOYING TRAITS MOST OTHER GUYS HAVE.